Filing a Formal Bullying Complaint: Everything You Need to Know

If you have a question or concern about special education law, school administration, federal standards, or the overall rights of a student, please feel free to call the expert education law attorneys at Maya Murphy, P.C. in Westport today at (203) 221-3100 .

Q: What should I be doing to prepare for making a report of bullying and what counts
as documentation?

A: The more documentation you have, the more you are going to be able to help and
collaborate with school personnel in their investigation. Documentation comes in a
number of forms, and it is important for you to keep records and copies of everything
that could possibly be relevant to your case and not give up your “only copy” of anything.

Documentation is considered, but not limited to:

• diaries/accounts with as much detail (names, dates, locations, etc.) as possible
  including, but not limited to:
• conversations you or your child has had with the alleged “bully”;
• any written communications you have had with school personnel (memos, e-mails,
  reports, etc.) pertaining to your complaint;
• your conversations with your child about what is and has been going on;
• notes or messages that have been passed around or sent on the Internet that are
  part of the bullying;
• photographs of any physical injuries or graffiti;
• accounts of any attempts that you have made before putting the complaint in
  writing to solve this problem (meetings/phone calls with school personnel, parent/
  teacher conferences, etc.);
• records from any physicians, social workers or counselors who have expert judgments
  that are relevant and helpful;
  any police reports or other agency documentation that is relevant to your situation;
  and
• anything else that you think will demonstrate what your child has experienced.

Q: Is it OK to meet with administrators, teachers or guidance staff in the school before
I file my written complaint to attempt to get the problem resolved?

A: Absolutely. In fact, it is welcomed and a preferred, courteous way in which to proceed.
It is also important that you not wait until you perceive the situation is dire. Schools
are only as good as the information they have and the earlier you bring inappropriate
behavior to their attention, the easier it is to intervene and make it stop.

When you approach your child’s teacher, principal or vice principal, try to remain as
calm, respectful and collaborative as possible. When you make them aware of the
situation in this more informal manner, it may very well be the first time they have had
any knowledge of the situation, and they will work to take care of any problems. It is
appropriate to ask them to look into this immediately and report to you what they
have found within a reasonable amount of time. And, if they find that what you and
your child is experiencing is really happening, it is reasonable to find out what is going
to be done to ensure that your child will not be the target of bullying in the future.

Understand, however, that because of confidentiality standards (FERPA), it may not be
possible for the school personnel to let you know all the specific details of any given
situation. They may not be able to give you a full account of their work behind the scenes
because some of the details may be confidential. The more cooperative, reasonable
and collaborative you are as the process is taking place, the more respectful and serious
you will be taken, and the matter is likely to be resolved in a satisfactory manner
for everyone.

Interventions work when the negative behaviors end. If you cannot be given the
details of the full intervention plan, you will know if the implemented strategies are
working if your child is once again physically, emotionally and intellectually safe.

Q: If I cannot get the situation resolved informally, to whom do I address the written
formal complaint of the allegation of bullying?

A: It is appropriate to direct the letter to the school principal, but you may want others
to have a copy of the letter as well. The people you may also want to send duplicate
copies to may include, but not be limited to, the superintendent, school board members,
teachers, social workers, counselors and so on. If you have gotten any expert
advice, you may also want to provide a copy of your letter to that expert. You may
want to include any written evidence from your experts with your formal letter of
complaint. Finally, make sure that you keep a copy of the letter you send for your files
along with copies of everything else that may be included.

Q: What information should I include in my written complaint and how should I put it
together?

A: You should put together a letter that details what you believe your child has experienced
that constitutes bullying. It can be handwritten or done on a computer. The
letter should make it clear that you are invoking the Connecticut anti-bullying law
and the particular policy of your school district. It should outline in as much detail
as you choose, exactly what has been going on and for what period of time this has
been occurring. You need to provide as much detailed information as you possibly
can, including names, dates and locations for the alleged bullying. Bullying takes
many forms: physical, verbal and emotional. The information that you provide will
help school administrators in their investigation process. It is also advisable to end
your letter by stating that after the investigation, regardless of whether the district
concludes that what has happened to your child is a “verified act of bullying,” that you
want your child to be safe and not experience any kind of hurtful behaviors.

Q: As the process moves forward, what can I ask the school to do for my child?

A: As frustrating as the circumstances are for your child, the sole thing that you ought
to be asking for is that your child be physically, emotionally and intellectually safe in
school. It is up to the school, working collaboratively with you, your child and experts
in the field to determine how this will be accomplished. It is not your role to dictate
to the school what the discipline should be for those who are bullying your child. You
cannot demand that the other child be removed from the classroom or school or be
suspended or expelled. The school has an obligation to attend and support every child
and will consider individual circumstances to achieve a satisfactory resolution and
safety plan.

If you have a child with a disability and have questions about special education law, please contact Joseph C. Maya, Esq., at 203-221-3100, or at JMaya@mayalaw.com, to schedule a free consultation.

Source: Bullying and Harassment in Connecticut: A Guide for Parents and Guardians, (July 2010), https://www.cga.ct.gov/coc/PDFs/bullying/SDE_bullying_and_harassment_in_connecticut.pdf